Welcome to my little space!
Thank you for stopping by my little space corner. This is a page I was hesitating to make because a lot of people don't (or refuse to try to) understand it, but I decided to make it anyway, not just as a safe space for me to express this side of myself, but also as a place to educate those that want to learn more about littles, cgl, dd/lg, abdl, and the like. I am opting to keep this page light, casual, fun, and a bit informative, because for me, kink is a source of self-expression and joy, and not something that I want to fearmonger about or to make scary and dark. If this type of thing is not something you want to engage with, that's okay! Feel free to click off and explore the rest of my site.
About my little journey
My journey into discovering that I was a little started largely due to Tumblr. I stumbled across some blogs that pertained to kink, ddlg, cgl, that kind of stuff and something about it just really....clicked with me. Now, if you're unfamiliar with these terms, that's okay! I'll provide a handy guide down below for reference. But anyway, that's where it all started. Something about the feeling of being nurtured and taken care of just made me feel...good. Fast forward a couple of years, and I had started reading romance and erotica novels with the same type of dynamic, Pepper North, Paige Michaels, and Amy Cummings being a few of those authors that I read. Through those, I learned more about the kink and the lifestyle and wanted to explore more.
In my personal journey, I know that not having my dad be actively present for a lot of my childhood definitely contributed to me discovering my little identity, but I also don't want to reduce it to that, either. I've always had a fun, playful side to me, and also the need for structure probably stems from my neurodivergence, so...it's really quite a multifaceted matter.
What is a little, exactly? A "little" is a person of any gender that likes to get into a headspace where they feel younger than their actual age, often called "littlespace". This is COMPLETELY different than age regressing, as age regression is usually described as a coping mechanism for some people and can sometimes, though not always, be involuntary. Now, there is a gray area (which is where I fall) where some people may regress for some reasons, but then also enjoy being in littlespace too. Neither is better or worse than their other, and all forms of these types of expression, when done safely and consensually, are valid.
As for my own little identity, my littlespace can be either sexual or nonsexual, depending on how I'm feeling at the time. A lot of times it is nonsexual, and I do enjoy things like sippies, pacifiers, bottles, diapers, all the types of things that make me feel extremely small and dependent. For me, I really enjoy the feeling of being taken care of in a gentle, nurturing way, knowing I can trust my partner to take care of all of my needs, even the most embarassing ones. I suppose the sexual aspect is more just how it makes me feel. There is something pleasurable about being "cutely humiliated", all the while knowing you are in a safe, loving environment and that it's all for fun and not to hurt me. Feeling safe, for me, is the ultimate turn-on.
Frequently asked questions
Does this have anything to do with minors?
Ah, this question gets asked more times to kinksters than I can count. The short answer? No. Absolutely not. There is a long-standing misconception that people who engage in ageplay, ddlg, cgl, abdl, etc., are acting out something illegal they wish they could do in real life, but that is practically never the case. People who engage in these types of kink do so for a variety of reasons. Some have childhood trauma and find healing through roleplay, some, like me, like the feeling of being safe and nurtured and take pleasure in that, some had to grow up fast and never had the chance to experience their childhood the way they liked, and are exploring it through a different lens, and of course some people just find it....fun! People often misjudge these types of kinks because they are usually last in the pecking order of "acceptable" kinks to have, because they seem more taboo and out-there, more visible and easier to laugh at (TLC has done a great job in misrepresenting the little community in that regard), but ageplay, ddlg, cgl, abdl, all of these kinks, they are just like any other. You wouldn't conflate people engaging in pet play as actually wanting to do bestiality, or sadomasochism as actually wanting to hurt or maim people in real life, right? It's the same concept here. To put it even more simply....it's just adults playing pretend. That's it. That's the whole thing.
Do people who roleplay as daddies, mommies, or caregivers really want to be in a harmful relationship?
Same answer as above: No. People who take on caregiver roles, like littles, do so for a variety of reasons. Some of them just have naturally nurturing or guiding personalities, some might feel like they lacked structure in their childhood and want to provide it to someone else, some may enjoy taking care of others...there are many reasons, and I feel terribly that caregivers are often painted to look like people who wish to do harmful things, when they are just people who want to show care and love to their partner in a unique way.
What about (insert cringey Tiktok video of a ddlg couple or a "My Strange Addiction" episode)? Those people are weird and creepy! Are YOU like that?
Sigh....ah yes, those videos. Try as the community might to explain that those are not good representations of us, there will always be those misinformed that don't do any further research. Are there cringey couples that (inappropriately!!!) take their play out in public? Yes! Absolutely yes, especially inexperienced ones that don't understand the boundaries of kink. But are they representative of all of us? No. People like shock value. In this day and age of Facebook ragebait and political fearmongering, rage and disgust racks up engagement in SPADES. When people are angry, confused, or disgusted, they talk, even if they don't know what they're talking about. Getting angry is easy and fun to do. People love to have something to hate! But doing research, asking questions, and thinking critically? That's boring and takes to long. Instant gratification wins out almost every time. Rule of thumb: respectful, good kinksters NEVER take their play where regular people could accidentally get involved. Consent matters to us, in fact, it's the MOST important thing. Most times, you will never know if someone practices kink. They could be your doctor, a therapist, someone's grandparents....but you would never know, because it's something that they keep in that space. So next time you see a shocking video like that, ask yourself: Who is this for? Is it supposed to make me react some way? Do I know enough about this to make an informed opinion?
Do you ACTUALLY think you're a kid?
Nope. We're just playing pretend! Just like on Halloween, or at a convention, it's fun to pretend to be someone else. In my day-to-day life, I'm a bubbly, slightly anxious person who's super forgetful and clumsy. But when I put on my Danaerys Targaryen cosplay? I get to be a powerful, commanding queen. It's basically the same concept. Same thing for caregivers, too. Maybe by day they're awkward and soft-spoken, but in their kink space they can be commanding and authoritative. It's experiencing a different role than the one you usually inhabit.
What if I just think what you do is gross?
Then that's perfectly fine! Everyone has the right to their own opinion. You shouldn't expect everyone to like you, BUT.....everyone does deserve basic human decency and respect. Just because something weirds you out, doesn't make it wrong. For example, I am a monogamous person. I don't really get the appeal of polyamory, but you know what? It's okay, I don't have to get it. It's not for me. If someone else enjoys being in a relationship with more than one person? That's their business! As long as everything happens between consenting adult individuals, what they do in the privacy of their home is their business. I think it's also crucial to note, in this day and age where censorship and fearmongering is at an all-time high, it's important to realize that we need to support each other. Throwing one group under the bus is a snowball effect, and it's a slippery slope to who gets to decide who and what deserve freedom of self-expression. Puritanism regarding sexuality and self-expression is here, and it's not going anywhere. Right now, transgender people are being demonized and villainized all over, for no reason other than because they're an easy target. Same with all other LGBTQ+ people, drag queens, etc. It may not be you today, but one day, it might be your happily married neighbors that enjoy leather and whips during date night. It might be your aunt and uncle that live in Florida and privately enjoy being a part of a swinging community. It could be the spicy romantasy books you like to read that get taken off the shelves because certain groups find them objectionable. It might not be you today, but if we don't support each other and stick together despite our differences, it very well could be.
Are all littles traumatized in some way?
Nah, not all of us. I mean, some? Maybe. But a lot of us are just having fun. That's a big misconception, that if you're kinky you must have had something "happen" to you, but sometimes? We're just born freaky, and that's okay.
Why do you care about all of this so much?
Because I was outed. Some time ago, someone in my social circle leaked some intimate pictures of me in my kink gear. They had been stalking me on the internet for a while before that, and had been leaving anonymous, voyeuristic poetry for me to find. Poetry that revealed more or less that he had been in places where I had been, some of them in places that were private, where I should have been alone, like the bathroom. He also tried talking to me in ways that made me feel weird and uncomfortable, and when I turned him down, I suspect that it made him angry and that's why he leaked my photos. For a long time I had a hard time showering alone without thinking about his eyes on me, and what was even worse? When I initially tried to tell people it was him? They didn't believe me. Then, later on, I was outed at work for the same reason. Thankfully, my boss was really sweet about it, but it got to the point where I had to explain my kink life to my PARENTS. It was a living nightmare. I never want anyone to have to go through that. It destroyed my nervous system and my health, and it made me so anxious that I didn't even want to leave the house. I isolated for about a year. But, I'm lucky I have coworkers, friends, and family that all love me even though my sexual self-expression is different. It took a long time for me to engage with my little side, and I still do have trouble with it, because of the outing. I have a hard time feeling safe expressing myself that way, but I can't abandon her. She's just as much a part of me as my witchcraft, my crochet, and every other aspect of me, and she deserves to feel loved.
Glossary
- Ageplay: A kink pertaining to people that enjoy pretending to be a different age than they actually are, older or younger. This type of kink, like all others, is only practiced by consenting adults in a safe environment.
- CGL: Stands for caregiver/little, and is a dynamic between two (or more) people in which one person assumes the role of a caregiver, and the other as the person being taken care of. This can be sexual, nonsexual, or both.
- DD/lg: Stands for daddy dom/ little girl. There are many variations of this, including but not limited to DD/lb (daddy dom/ little boy), MD/lg (mommy dom, little girl), and MDlb (mommy dom, little boy). While the titles may suggest familial relations, most play as far as this kink is concerned is mainly focused on power exchange between a nurturing dominant and a submissive little, both adults of course. The title of mommy or daddy or caregiver refers to a softer, more authoritative style of dominant, rather that other terms dominants might use such as master or mistress, etc.
- Little: A term often used for those that take on a younger role in ageplay. Note: there are many different types of littles, and not all may identify the same way or have the same definition. Note: I have seen some non-sexual age regressors that use the term little as well, which is why I say that some may have a different definition.
- Littlespace: The headspace a little (in the ageplayer definition) goes into in order to feel younger. Some littlespace is sexual, sometimes it is not. It all depends on the person.
- AB/DL: The abbreviation for adult baby/diaper lover, though the two are grouped together in one acronym, they are not always the same. Adult babies are just that: adults that like to be treated like a baby, and diaper lovers are people who enjoy wearing diapers, for a variety of reasons, including but not limited to: feeling safe, liking the sensory feel, enjoying humiliation, enjoying being controlled, etc. AB's may not enjoy wearing diapers, and DL's may not be ageplayers. There is definitely an overlap for some people, it just depends on the person. Note: I have noticed a lot of research on AB/DL has been done with male participants, but very few with female. Female AB/DLs do exist, but are severely under-represented in scientific studies.
- Age regression: Completely separate from littlespace, age regression in non-sexual by default, and is often a coping mechanism that some people use for a variety of reasons, sometimes involuntary. Age regressors are NOT the same as ageplayers, and that distinction is an important one. Age regression is not in any way a kink.